Lassie, Meet Gus
by Collegekid2006
Summary: We all know what happened when Lassiter and Henry bonded over fishing...But what would happen if Lassie and Gus found some common bond? What would that bond be? How would Shawn react?
1. Chapter 1

Detective Lassiter walked into the police station in an uncharacteristically good mood. Why shouldn't he be happy? He'd closed two cases that morning, by himself, he had a good lunch, and Shawn Spencer and his annoying little sidekick hadn't been around in weeks. All was right with the world.

His good mood immediately vanished, however, when he saw his desk. Shawn Spencer was behind it, looking at his computer, touching his keyboard with his grimy, pineapple juice covered fingers. Gus was standing behind him, equally engrossed in whatever they were looking at on the screen.

"What are you two doing here?" He demanded, storming over to his desk. Shawn looked up at him, the very picture of insolent innocence.

"You know, Lassie, someone is always asking us that. We do work for the Department."

"But you don't work at my desk. Go away."

Shawn pushed the chair away from the desk.

"What were you looking at, anyway?" Lassiter asked, taking his seat and glancing at the screen, not sure he wanted to know.

"Pineapple Upsidedown Cake recipes?"

"I tried to make one in my Easy Bake Oven. It didn't turn out so good…" Shawn explained with a shrug.

"You have a million windows open on this thing!" Lassister grumbled, x-ing out of at least a dozen pages of worthless internet fluff. Message Boards, Fanfic sites…was there nothing these two wouldn't do to waste time?

Shawn and Gus began to walk away, undoubtedly on their way to harass someone else who had an actual job to do.

Then he saw The Woods Tea Company website.

"Get back here!" He called.

"What?" Shawn asked.

"Who else was using my computer? Someone was looking at the Woods Tea Company webpage. There is no way you two yahoos could appreciate their sophisticated brand of folk music."

"Uh, you got that right," Shawn agreed.

"Umm…actually, that was me." Gus admitted sheepishly.

"You? Gus, I'm disappointed. I thought I broke you of that Folk habit." Shawn shook his head mockingly.

"You're a Folkie, Guster?" Lassiter asked, cocking a doubtful eyebrow.

"Oh, yeah. There's going to be a huge Folk Festival in the park next week. I was just checking out if the Woods Tea Company were going to be there."

"Well, it wouldn't be a Folk Festival without them."

"You know that's right."

"Are they coming?"

"They're playing Saturday and Sunday. I already have my ticket."

"I'll have to buy mine today," Lassiter realized suddenly. "I meant to get one months ago."

"Well, I have an extra one," Gus offered. "I got one thinking I might take a date…"

"And then you realized that no woman on earth would be seen dead with you at a Folk Festival?" Shawn offered helpfully.

"No," Gus shot back. "Her uncle died and the funeral is next weekend."

"Oh, Gus. There was no uncle." Shawn sighed.

"You wouldn't mind?" Lassiter asked, ignoring Shawn as usual.

"No, why not? I'll drop the ticket off tomorrow."

"Great. I'll see you there."

Lassiter smiled, a slightly disconcerting sight. Shawn and Gus walked off.

"Dude, do you know what you just did?" Shawn asked quietly.

"Yeah. I got rid of an extra ticket I couldn't use anyway."

"No. Dude, you just made a date…with Lassie!"


	2. Chapter 2

"Dude! I am begging you not to do this!" Shawn pleaded.

"Forget it, Shawn. I'm going. The Woods Tea Company hasn't been to Santa Barbara in years. They mostly play in New England." Gus answered, looking at himself in the mirror and straightening his tie.

"Gus, if you go, I will never be able to get you a date again. Never."

"I can get my own dates."

"Yeah. Dates who mysteriously have funerals for non-existent uncles."

"The uncle was real, Shawn."

"Only if the definition of real is broadened to include fictional."

"You know what?" Gus turned to him, searching for a sharp comeback.

"What?"

"Just shut up."

"Ouch. Witty, yet with a hint of caustic bitterness."

"I'm going, Shawn."

"Okay, fine. Ruin your social life forever. But do you have to go with Lassie?"

"I'm not 'going with' with Detective Lassiter. He happens to be going, and I happen to be going. It's not like we're going to sit next to each other or anything. It's not a date."

Shawn spun around a few times in the office chair, trying to clear his head.

"Just promise me one thing."

"Do you want a T-shirt?"

"God no!" Shawn scoffed.

"Then what?"

Shawn walked over and put a paternal hand on Gus' shoulder.

"Don't let him kiss you on the first date. He'll lose all respect for you."

"Goodbye, Shawn."

"Remember, Gus! No means no!" Shawn called out after him.

The Folk Festival was crowded, but very mellow. Gus found it relaxing to walk around and listen to the different groups play. For once, Shawn wasn't around to talk him into doing something crazy…it was nice.

He only saw Detective Lassiter once, in the crowd listening to Woods Tea Company. They nodded at each other from across the lawn, but that was it.

Finally, Gus got thirsty. He headed over to one of the many vendors.

"Hey, can I get a Coke?" He asked the man standing behind the booth, who had his back turned.

"Sure you can. What you can't get is a date." The man responded.

"What?"

Shawn turned around.

"Hey, Gus."

"Shawn? What are you doing here?" Gus was fuming now.

"Well, I've never told anyone this…but remember when I worked in Burlington, Vermont at Ben and Jerrys? Well, Woods Tea Company played fair grounds near there all the time. I may or may not…have been a roady for them on occasion."

"That's not on your resume. I should know. I typed it up."

"Well, it's not something I'm proud of. Anyway, I called them and they hooked me up with this job."

"You're insane! You're spying on me?"

"Not 'spying', Gus…watching covertly."

"Well, you can covertly watch me walk away. And I'm taking this Coke for free."

Gus grabbed the drink and stalked away.

"I'll see you at the office tomorrow, then?" Shawn yelled after him.

Gus didn't respond.


	3. Chapter 3

"Oh come on, Gus. You can't give me the silent treatment forever!" Shawn protested.

Gus had come into the office the following morning carrying a note. He handed it to Shawn as he began to work on the computer. It read:

Shawn-

Not speaking to you.

Vital communication will be submitted in writing.

All other communication will be ignored.

Gus continued typing all morning, not looking up or acknowledging Shawn at all.

"Gus, this is ridiculous! Gus? Gus…"

Shawn had to give Gus credit. He knew from years and years of experience that the one thing Shawn Spencer could not abide was being ignored.

"Come on, Gus. This isn't fair. You know being ignored is my Achilles Tendon."

Shawn held his breath, wondering if Gus would take the bait. Correcting improper phrasing was Gus' Achilles Heel.

For a moment, it looked like it worked. Gus stopped typing and looked up at the ceiling, apparently counting in his head. But then he just cracked his knuckles and continued to type. Shawn huffed loudly.

"Fine! Two can play this game. I'm ignoring you, too, now. So there!"

He collapsed into the chair and turned on the TV. He cranked up the volume loud enough to be sure to annoy Gus, and the two remained at this impasse all morning.

Around 10:30, Lassiter walked in, in a much better mood than usual.

"Spencer. Is Guster around?" He asked, dispensing with the usual barbed insults.

"Who? No one named Gus works around here," Shawn answered crossly.

"Aww, are you two in a fight again?"

"No. Can't fight with someone who doesn't exist," Shawn insisted, folding his arms across his chest.

"Well, as long as you settle your differences maturely. That's the important thing, Spencer."

"He started it."

"I'm in here, Detective Lassiter," Gus called from the adjoining room. Lassiter left Shawn, still in a pout, and went in.

"I just wanted to drop off some money for the ticket. It's only fair I pay you for it."

"Thank you."

"No problem."

Lassiter handed Gus the money hesitantly.

"Was there something else?" Gus asked, pocketing the bills.

"No….no."

Lassiter turned and headed back into the waiting room.

A moment later, he appeared in doorway again.

"Guster," he said quickly, as if he was trying to get something off his chest before it exploded, "Woods Tea Company is playing an encore show in the park tonight. I have an extra ticket….do you want to go?"

"Sure," Gus shrugged.

"Okay, then. I'll see you there. 8 O'clock."

"I'll be there."

Lassiter nodded and left, this time for real.

Three seconds later, Shawn entered the office from the waiting room, grinning like a cat with a secret.

"Okay, time-out on the whole not speaking thing. Gus, did you really just make a second date with Lassie?"

Gus didn't respond. He switched off the computer and marched to the door, pausing for a moment before he left.

"If there was someone in this room, which there isn't, I would say that I don't have a date with Lassiter. I have…an appointment. To…watch a concert…in the park…oh, God."

Gus nearly burst out in tears as the realization struck.

"Oh, God. I just made a date with Lassiter!"


	4. Chapter 4

Gus left his apartment around 7:30 and headed into the parking garage.

The blue Echo was gone.

Taped to his parking spot was a note.

_Dude- Emergency! My bike's in the shop, and Blockbuster has Plan 9 From Outer Space on laser disc. LASER DISC! _

_-S. (Shawn)_

_P.S.- Don't worry. I don't need your keys. Did you know Wikipedia has an entry for hotwire? Very informative!_

Gus crumpled the note and growled angrily.

Now what was he supposed to do?

He sighed and flipped through the contacts on his cell phone.

"Hi…Detective Lassiter? It's Gus…are you still going to the concert? Could you possibly…pick me up? Long story…"

The drive with Detective Lassiter was awkwardly silent. Gus just couldn't shake the thought from his head.

_This isn't a date...this isn't a date…this isn't a date… _

How did Shawn always do that? How did he always get in his head?

Finally, after about ten minutes of complete silence, Lassiter cleared his throat deliberately.

"Well, this is fun…"

The comment fell flat.

Finally, Gus couldn't stand the strain anymore.

"THIS ISN'T A DATE!" He burst out.

The car suddenly came to a screeching halt. Lassie slowly turned in his seat, his eyes burning a hole through Gus' skull.

"What was that?"

"Umm…nothing."

"Get out."

"I just meant—"

"What the hell is wrong with you?"

"Nothing! It's—"

"Why would you even say that? We're just two guys….going to a concert…oh."

Lassiter suddenly saw it, too.

The cars behind them began to beep. Lassiter quickly stepped on the gas, keeping his eyes on the road directly in front of them.

For a few more minutes, neither of them spoke.

Or looked at each other.

"I'll pay for my ticket," Gus offered finally. "Then it's definitely not a date."

"Good. Yeah." Lassiter nodded. "And we won't sit together."

"Right….and we're on our own for food or whatever."

"And we can't buy matching concert T-shirts."

"NO!"

"And…we'll never speak of this again."

"Deal."

The two nodded in unison, understanding each other perfectly.

"This is so not a date!" Gus sighed, relieved it was finally over. "I don't know what Shawn was thinking!"

"Of course not!" Lassiter snorted. "Spencer's a moron."

"We're just two guys…"

"Going to a concert."

"In the park."

"Exactly."


End file.
